2012 Itinerary

Wednesday May 30th

3pm - Arrive at house

3:01pm - Open first beer

3:04pm - setup sound system

4:45pm - Orientation followed by Jaeger Bombs

5:00pm - Seek and Destroy the spider population in a 3 mile radius of the house, followed by Jaeger Bombs

7:23pm - Open 2nd 30 pack of Miller Lite

7:48pm - Regret inviting John Dooley, followed by Jaeger Bombs

8pm - Free Time!

8:01pm - figure out how to work the super faggy gas fire pit

8:05pm - give up and just use Lenny as kindling for the wood burning fire pit, followed by Jaeger Bombs

8:20pm - Freedom Rock? Turn it up!

9:07pm - holy shit, it's been an hour since we had Jaegar Bombs!

9:08pm - Jaeger Bombs

9:42pm - this is usually when pussies sneak off and go to sleep

2:30am - Lenny and Mike are still awake because they aren't pussies, followed by Jaeger Bombs

Thursday May 31st

9:20am - fish the golf cart out of the pond

9:53am - Dooley cleans jizz off the bear skin rug

10:02am - Open first beer, follow by Jaeger Bombs

New Tripoli Cabin Rules

The rules

Pets are not permitted. Seriously. No dogs. No sheep. No gerbils.

No damage or contraband. Don't break shit. This is known as the Barbusca clause.

You can smoke outdoors, dispose of your butts properly. No pole smoking.

You can leave dirty dishes in the sink or dishwasher to be cleaned.

They provide towels and linens. Don't lose them, no brown stripes.

There is no daily housekeeping service. Wipe your own ass.

Don't get evicted. No refunds for evicted asshole(s).

The fish tank is for you viewing pleasure. Don't feed or fuck or eat the fish. Yes, there is a fish tank.

You can bring your own ATV or other recreational vehicle. Don't drive on the grass. Don't break your neck.

The ATV rental is $125 per day. Screw that.

Don't get bit by a spider and swell up like a bratwurst. If you are bit by a spider, let Dooley piss on the bite to sterilize it.

The hot tub is drained, sanitized, and refilled prior to our arrival. Leave the cover on when you're not using it. No jizz.

There are 5 fireplaces and 2 outdoor fire pits. Some are wood burning, some are gas. Firewood is provided. Don't burn the fucking place down. Leave your tires at home.

Well and septic system. Don't flush lady products down the toilet. Keep your turds to a reasonable circumference. Don't throw passed out friends into the shit tank.

The walkways and patios can become slippery when wet. Don't get drunk and walk on the stamped concrete with piss shoes.

There is plenty of parking, but for Christ's sake, don't block the god damn driveway.

You need to cancel 60 days in advance.

Twitter

Just signed up for Twitter. Figure I can get free beer out of it somehow.

@mhoff226